Thursday, February 16, 2012
2 more months = HERE I COME new poly life!
Great, my blog is almost dead.
Anyway, no one will really read my blog right?
It shall be dedicated to myself alone.
Well well, life isnt really getting on smoothly for me at all.
1st, R/S problem.
2nd, I just lost my handphone. $500 gone like that.
3rd, semi-depression.
Phew. I know I am strong but I am just... Emotionally weak at times.
None of the people around knows this but... Yeah. I gotta change.
Here's the main problem.
Firstly, I fell in love with a simple girl.
Now, I fall in love with a complicated girl.
And when i say complicated it's really... Not a good thing you see.
For 10 months, she was such a nice girl in my mind.
Smart, confident, caring, pretty, interesting, interactive.
BUT...
Just when i was about to confess to her soon,
Unexpectably I discovered her dark side and ugly past.
Gosh, and i just found it out myself, she hided it so well.
Now, thousands of thoughts race through my mind.
Pieces of puzzles discovered seemed to gave more clues
of what kind of a girl she exactly is. She's much more
complicated than who she appears to be on the surace.
What is her true identity?
Why is she hiding her dark side?
What is the story of her past life?
What is her true intentions?
After all the things, is she even a virgin?
There's only 2 distinct possibilites of her true-self.
Either real good or real bad.
(Good)
She has changed now for the better from her dark side of her past.
She does not wants to repeat a same life mistake again.
A virgin, all the things she mentioned was just casual jokes.
Truely works toward her dreams, filled with sincerity and honesty.
Interacts with decent social influence and wants to lead others.
Intelligently without ulterior motives and use it for good purposes.
Wants a man to truely love her and persues after a proper love life.
Passionate. Truely cares about family, romance and friends around her.
(Bad)
What she truely is internally is the opposite of her external surface life.
She indulges with a life of mess and 'underground' bad social influence.
Not a virgin and engages with a messed sex life from the past till now.
Filled with ulterior motives for making use of men and friends around her.
Lied all the time to mislead people into perceiving her as a great nice girl.
Extremely materialistic and wealth is prior to her.
Filled with vengeance for the rest of her life.
The thing is, she seems to be a contradictory combination of both cases.
Which is her real life and truth? It just gets more and more disturbing.
In less than 10 days, the confession date will most likely occur.
Be which is her truth side, all will be known on that day.
I have already accepted her ugly past, weaknesses and dark side,
I dont mind being with this kind of girl but... I only hope she is honest.
I truely wishes her to be a nice changed girl and not the opposite/same.
That is all i ask for, just solely a proper great life partner.
Otherwise I will be really, really, ... disappointed.
Be strong, everything will look brighter ahead soon.
Be strong, everything will look brighter ahead soon.
Xenon
Finished @ 11:35 PM
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I am back, like after really a long time. Not just long, but it feels like for decades that kind of long.
I miss all my friends, I really do.
A new journey awaits, but the scars of the old memories remained.
I felt in love, deeply with her. Witty 19 year old her with warm smiles and a heart of gold, a wonderful girl indeed. I will work hard for her, I do.
All begins in April 2012.
I will be back.
Xenon
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Finished @ 11:18 PM
