Sunday, September 25, 2011
I am back! :)
Finally things are settled between me and her! That feeling of great relief from sorrow and anxiety is inexplicable... Even though we still cant be together yet, but ultimately I believe one day we will. This men's instinct of mine prediction 9 out of 10 always become reality. Waiting for that feeling to become reality... Be it weeks, months or years I believe it is definitely worth the waiting for a lovely girl like her. Damn, I realised the power of love can motivate and change me so much without me realising it...
Waiting for a girl be it how long it takes? Xenon doing that? If words of this spread around to everyone, I believe 9 out of 10 people will say I am seriously nuts. But seriously! There's really nothing wrong with falling in love! It just comes naturally! I will really wait till the day when you say the sentence - "I accept you". To be together with you, It will be Xenon's bliss and honor in this lifetime.
Time to face reality has come though. I have 3 paths to choose for the next stage of life though...
- Ngee ann Polytechnic Diploma in Business Studies
- SIM Diploma in Management studies
- National service
Seriously, I cant bear to leave those reality memories that I have left in NYP. The friends, hardship, feelings, life and encounters. During this 2 years, I realised I have really grown up a lot and diversified into a much higher quality of life. Most importantly, the only one I truely loved and cherished in NYP is her. To leave NYP means that I wont be able to see her that often and engage in events together with her. It ever almost stopped me from leaving NYP because I really cant bear to leave her. She may appear just like an ordinary girl, but the impact and her importance she brought on me is really, really, really....Precious.
Nevertheless, I still have to leave and enter another world of higher dimension so as to improve myself constantly and seek to achieve my career goals in life. After leaving NYP, I swear that I seriously will miss those encounter memories with her in NYP. I ever made a promise to myself before - "Cherish, protect and guide her in life". I will keep on improving myself and attain achievements in life so as to share them with her. I will wait for her till that day comes, and I will bring her along to travel this beautiful journey with me. The only one.
Hmm...Sometimes I really wonder how important am I to her. Seriously, until now I still dont really know the answer even though she told me before. Because the way she treats me in real life and what she said in that letter...It doesnt complements at all. Anyway, I guess it doesnt matters though right? Well... Her gullibility has literally veiled her true feelings from me. It might be mushy to say this...But because of her blurness, she is really cute at times. I never ever felt so comfortable and secured with a person like this before, someone who can place my 100% trust in her without doubts. I only have 2 person I truely trusted in my life... One is Senthil, one is her.
She do have feelings for that guy though... Seriously, It hurts terribly when I learn about that and have to see them progressing to getting closer each day. Judging from things at this rate, they have a high change of getting together. Love can be just so sacrificial at times... Even though that feeling I have towards her is inexplicable, experiencing great pain in my heart in exchange for wishing her to be happy in life...It is definitely worth it.
Alright I shall end here for now. Keep telling myself: "Yes, you can!"
Signing off...
Xenon Tan.
Finished @ 5:56 PM
